


days go by

by hotelbooks



Series: i wanna feel the ground beneath my feet [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blind!Kent, Career Ending Injuries, Epikegster (Check Please!), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelbooks/pseuds/hotelbooks
Summary: Alexei can see through Kenny’s eyes when he’s asleep.ORThe one where Kent and Alexei are soulmates and a hit gone wrong changes Kent’s life forever.
Relationships: Alexei "Tater" Mashkov/Kent "Parse" Parson, Background Jack Zimmermann/Eric “Bitty” Bittle, Kent "Parse" Parson & Jeff "Swoops" Troy
Series: i wanna feel the ground beneath my feet [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178033
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	1. i walk a fine line between coping and insanity

**Author's Note:**

> CW: obvious contemplations of su!cide, epikegster happens (all rights to the infamous conversation goes to Ngozi Ukazu), self-hatred, recounts of The Day Before The Draft, clear depression, and other stuff but im not a psychologist so i cant psychoanalyze Kent, self-harm in the form of self medicating with alcohol and more. read w caution

(fic and chapter titles from Chemical Prisoner by Falling in Reverse)

**  
=SUMMER 2009=**

Alexei woke with a jolt, memories of his dream haunting him. He doesn’t even know if he can call it a dream. A nightmare, most likely. 

Whenever he sleeps, he gets transported to his soulmate. His soulmate can’t see him, feel him, or hear him. Alexei can’t see his soulmate, the only thing he has of his soulmate are his memories, that only happens when Alexei is asleep, and usually when he is in Russia. When he is in America, his soulmate is asleep at the same time, and Alexei can’t get transported to him. 

Being connected to a soulmate in some way (not all are the same, not every soulmate gets transported in their sleep, some will hear their soulmate’s thoughts randomly, et cetera) doesn’t start until both members of the soulpair have reached the bright age of thirteen. Alexei knows his soulmate is at least two or three years younger than him, since Alexei didn’t start seeing his soulmate until July fourth, after his sixteenth birthday. 

Alexei didn’t want to be transported into this mess. His poor soulmate has to go through this in person. Alexei feels bad for him, actually having to go through this. The pained screams of his soulmate forever reverberate in his ears and mind. 

_“Jack! Please, you can’t! Wake up! We’re supposed to do this together. Please! Someone help! Please help us!”_

Screams of agony, trauma, torture, guttural cries of disbelief. 

_“Don’t die on me, c’mon, Zimms. Together. Please fucking puke! Fuck, please don’t die! Help!”_

Begging. Tears, nonstop tears. Alexei’s heart clenches into knots in his chest for his poor soulmate. His poor soulmate who is witnessing something traumatizing. Of course, Alexei was seeing it too, but being there in spirit, and actually being there, are very different things. 

_“You gotta let me see him, please let me know he’s alive. His heart stopped in the ambulance! Please let me in, please! I can’t go out there tomorrow, I can’t!”_

Loneliness, sitting in waiting room chairs by himself, no one around him, no one coming to get him. Shaking like a chihuahua, unable to sleep, no more tears left in his body, dehydration. 

_“It was your fault, Kent. You’re poison. You pushed him too hard. He should be going first tomorrow. You don’t deserve this.”_

Kent. It’s Kent Parson, Alexei recalls from his dream. Alexei wants nothing more to be with his soulmate, knowing that his draft day is tomorrow, and he is expected to get up on stage after what he just went through. Alexei thinks that the last thing Kent needs after one life changing event, is a random person showing up out of nowhere, claiming to be his soulmate, and seeing said life changing moment. Alexei spares him the torment.

When Kent goes first overall to the Las Vegas Aces, Alexei shoots a text to his Russian friend on the team, Sasha Chernyshevsky, they call him Butter, because his last name has Chern in it, and hockey players are so creative that they equate Chern to churn, and churn to butter. Classic.

**_To Sasha_ ** _: пожалуйста, позаботьтесь о Кенни_

_(please, take care of Kenny)_

**_To Alyosha_ ** _: Не волнуйся, он останется со мной в этом году, потому что я запасной капитан, и у меня есть дополнительная комната_

_(don’t worry, he’ll stay with me this year, because i am an alternate captain and have an extra room)_

**_To Sasha_ ** _: спасибо, что не спросили почему_

_(thanks for not asking why)_

**_To Alyosha_ ** _: не мое дело. мне не нужна причина_

_(it’s none of my business. I don’t need a reason)_

Alexei closes out his texts and continues with his day.

**=FALL 2014=**

Alexei sees through Kenny’s eyes again, as he always does. He has a game the next morning, so he is asleep extremely early, but Kenny looks to be at a party, although he should be in a Boston hotel room, since he just had a game against the Bruins. 

_“You have no clue?”_

_“I mean… it could be Montreal, it could be LA, okay? I don’t know.”_

_“What about Las Vegas?”_

_“I… I don’t know, okay?”_

_Kent steps closer to Jack Zimmermann’s tall figure, studying him. The taller man is clearly anxious, and Kent just wants him to see his stance on this. Kent misses Jack fiercely, his first love, his best friend for years, the man whomst he watched almost die on a bathroom floor, the man he spent years pining after, crying over his phone just waiting for a text back, or a returned call that never came._

_“Parse…” Jack takes a breath as Kent steps closer. “Kenny… I can’t do this.”_

_“Jack, come on.” Kent sighs, looking at him, just begging for closure, an answer. Kent wants to be in Jack’s presence again, his vicinity. It doesn’t have to be romantic, it could very well be friendly or professional. Kent just wants his best friend back. He wants to play with Jack again._

_“No, I… um… Kenny-”_

_“Zimms, just stop fucking thinking for once and_ **_listen_ ** _to me. I’ll tell the GMs you’re on board, and they can free up cap space. Then you can be done with this shitty team. You and me-”_

_“Get out.”_

_“Jack-”_

_“You can’t-” Jack sighs and takes a deep breath for composure. “You don’t come to my fucking school unnanounced,”_

_“Because you shut me out-” Kenny gasps out, trying to reason with him._

_“And corner me in my room-”_

_“I’m trying to help!”_

_“And expect me to do whatever you want-”_

_“_ **_Fuck_ ** _, Jack. What do you want me to say? That I miss you? I miss you, okay?” Kent steps one more step closer to Jack, pressing his forehead to Jack’s shoulder. “I miss you.” He whispers genuinely, trying to get his point across. He just wants Jack back._

_“You always say that.” Damn, Jack knows what will land._

_“... Huh, well… shit, okay.” Kent speaks, obviously stunned, if the pain in his voice says anything._

From what Alexei knows about Kent, he knows that Kent is preparing a statement that will hurt Jack just as much as he hurt him. Kent has a knack for that, Alexei thinks he should see someone about that.

_“You know what, Zimmermann? You think you’re too fucked up to care about? That you’re not good enough? Everyone already knows what you are, but it’s people like me that still care. You’re scared everyone else is going to find out you’re worthless, right? Oh, don’t worry, just give it a few seasons, Jack, trust me.”_

There it is.

_“Get… get out of my room.” Jack looks, and sounds, completely small._

_“Fine. Shut me out again.”_

_“And stay… stay away from my team.”_

_“Why? Afraid ‘ll tell them something?”_

_“_ **_Leave,_ ** _Parse.”_

_Kent opens the door to see a small blond boy fumbling with a key by the door to Jack’s room. He clears his throat and his hands come up to fix his hat. “Hey, well, call me if you reconsider, or whatever. But good luck with the Falconers.” Kent spits. “I’m sure that’ll make your dad proud.”_

_Kenny storms down the stairs and to the front of the frat looking house, to a rental car. He gets into the car and locks all the doors. “Fuck! Fucking idiot, Kent. Blow your one chance by saying some shitty things. Poison. You’re fucking poison.”_ Kent gasps out, sounding oddly familiar to that one night in 2009, numbly ignoring a tear streaking down his cheek that Alexei can see through the rearview mirror. 

Kenny was speeding down unknown roads, driving pretty dangerously, making turns until he came upon a hill with a dropoff and a nice view. Kenny has obviously been there before in previous years, but Alexei can’t recall it. Kenny parks and gets out of the car, sitting on the ledge of the steep dropoff. 

_“Your one chance to get him back and you fuck it up. You’re poison to Jack. You pushed him too hard and he almost killed himself. You just had to say that shit, huh? You just wanted it to hurt.” Kent is yelling at himself at this point, no one around, just himself and nature._

Alexei is getting anxious. Self conversations like this never end well, and Alexei, although angry with Kent for what he said to Jack, he understood Kent’s pain and turmoil, having seen most of it while they were connected through soulpairing, and Alexei is anxious. He doesn’t want to lose his soulmate before they even officially meet. 

_“Why are you still here? Still trying?” Kent stands up, looking down the ledge, and then back at the rental car, clearly contemplating something. He takes out his phone and dials a number he knows by heart._

_“Ugh… ‘lo?” A voice rings through the phone._ Alexei doesn’t know who it is.

_Kent shifts on his feet, and gulps before speaking, “Swoops? Can you… almost literally, kinda almost talk me off the ledge?” Kent whispers with a bitter and wet laugh. “I would really like to know why you stayed my friend for four years.”_

Alexei hears a shift, and a few curses on the other line. _“Shit, Kent, aren't you in Boston? Parse… you didn’t…”_

_Kent sniffles and lets out a muffled sob. “I keep doing this to myself Swoops. He hates me, I said the worst things. I’m terrible.” He coughs, choking on his own cries. “I can’t keep hurting the people I love. I’m so tired of it, Jeff…”_ Keep? Alexei’s confused.

_“Kent…” Jeff whispers over the line, clearly frazzled and upset for his best friend. “Well, let me tell you… apart from you being a slight asshole, you have a big heart. You saved a kitten from getting hit by a car on the highway, and ended up adopting her and nursing her back to health and good shape. You were by my side when Annalise broke up with me, you held my hand in the hospital when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and stuck by the both of our sides for a week, you paid off your older sister’s student loans… Jesus, man, I could go on forever. You’re my best friend, and someone’s soulmate. You’re that person’s soulmate for a reason, Parse. They’re going to love you through your best, and even your worst.”_

_Swoops paused for a minute, collecting his thoughts. “You’re my best friend. I want you alive.”_

_Kent sits back on the grass, further away from the ledge. He stays quiet, listening to Jeff talk and ramble on. “I’m sorry.”_

_“You scare me a lot, Kent… I’m worried about you.”_ Alexei can hear tears in Jeff’s voice, Kent may not notice, but Alexei can. 

_Sniffling, Kent nods, although Swoops can’t see him. “You don’t deserve this.” Kent whispers into the phone. “I… I don’t want to hurt people anymore. Including you.”_

_  
_ _“I love you, man. I’m always here for you.”_

That makes Kenny cry harder. He clearly misses Swoops, especially since he got traded to Montréal. 

Alexei wakes up promptly at 6 in the morning. He has a game to win, but he is worried about Kenny the whole time. 

**=FALL 2015=  
  
**

Jack Zimmermann is on the Falconers, and Alexei wants to tell him about his soulpairing, he just… he can’t. He feels like Jack will never speak to him if he knows the things that Alexei has seen through Kent’s eyes. But he meets Jack’s soulmate, and remembers him as the blond boy outside of Jack’s room after the big fight.

They are a few weeks away from playing the Aces in Las Vegas for the first time this season. The first meeting for Kenny and Jack. It is currently the third week of hockey season, October 21, to be more exact. They play the Aces on November 29. 

In Alexei’s dreams tonight, Kent is on the ice, playing a game against the Schooners. 

Halfway through the third period, Kenny gets hit so hard, his head knocks against the boards, and then cracks onto the ice, Alexei’s vision goes dark on impact. 

Alexei jolts out of bed and goes to turn on the tv, where the broadcast is showing the damage done. The hit is a hundred percent intentional in Alexei’s mind. Kenny is not getting up, despite the help and the prodding from teammates and the trainers. Then, Kenny is being wheeled off of the ice on a stretcher, damage done. 

**=2015 ~ KENT=**

Waking up in a hospital is no cakewalk, Kent has done it before, and yet he feels like the outcome of this shitty visit will still end up being better than the last time. 

He’s proven wrong when the only thing he can see is slight beams of white light, and nothing else. He can’t see objects, or even his own hands when he holds them out in front of himself, he can barely see the shadows of his hands blocking the light, and he can’t make out shapes. Kent rubs his forearm, where the first words that his soulmate says to him is splayed out in his soulmate’s scratchy handwriting rest. 

_Are you being okay? Sidewalk beat you up good._

It sucks that his words seem to be Kent making an ass of himself, but he can’t bring himself to care right now, being that he **can’t fucking see**. Kent begins to panic, since he can’t see his soulmate’s handwriting, and he can’t see anything for that matter, and he promptly begins to freak the fuck out, to where his heart rate rises alarmingly, and the nurses rush in to check on him.

“Mr. Parson, your vitals are spiking, are you okay?” One of the nurses asks, and he can hear her walking close to the bed. 

“I can’t…” Kent pants heavily, trying to get his words out. “I can’t fucking see.” He gasps, reaching around the bed, begging for some kind, any kind of help. 


	2. it’s not worth the price i pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent’s adjusting, and Alexei comes clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of seizures, blindness, anxiety, pain, dramatic joking about said seizures. 
> 
> This chapter is a LOT lighter than the other one :)

* * *

**=2015 ~ KENT=**

“Explain the situation to me again, but slower, I think I have a permanent concussion.” Kent mumbles, rubbing his eyes at an alarmingly fast pace. 

The nurse sighs, and humors him, jumping into the same explanation for the, almost exactly, tenth time. “The speed and velocity in which you were hit, caused you to hit the glass, and then knock your head onto the ice. Although you had a helmet on, you went down hard enough for there to be damage, and your helmet didn’t help your situation. The impact on your brain damaged your sight, from your explanations and our scans, you can only see light.” The nurse says the last sentence as sort of a question, and all Kent can do is nod along. 

“That's it?” Kent asks, biting his lip. “My sight’ll come back, right? This is only temporary? Just concussion symptoms?” He’s a little frantic at this point, needing hockey in his life or he’ll go nuts, and broke, possibly. “I’ll play again?”

The nurse gives him a sympathetic look, and frowns, although he can’t see her. “I’m sorry, Mr. Parson, I regret to inform you that, no, you won’t be able to play professionally again.” 

Kent feels like he can’t breathe. A tightness spreads across his chest, and he grips onto the hospital gown as if it is the only thing grounding him to real life. “No, no… I can’t, that can’t be… fuck…” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault… there’s… there’s nothing you can do. Thank you for your help.” Kent manages to choke out a few words in response to her, but he can’t get a grip on reality.

The nurse helps him center his breathing, counting his breaths, and guiding him through everything. 

When Kent is finally grounded, he looks over in the general direction of her voice and asks, “did anything else happen that I should know about?”

“After the impact, they carted you off on a stretcher. Before the stretcher even got a chance to move, your body started seizing. Your teammate, Will Scrapini, tried to cover you from the public as much as possible, but the cameras caught it.”

Kent gasps and widens his eyes. “It was on camera? People saw that shit?”

“Yes, unfortunately, but thankfully you were on the stretcher, and it didn’t cause any more damage than the initial impact.”

“But people _saw_ it? Oh my god, did I piss myself? I read somewhere that people who have seizures piss themselves.” Kent, although he can’t see, widens his eyes, still extremely expressive. “I feel like my body hates me enough to piss itself. That's so embarrassing!” Kent whines, rubbing his face once more. 

The nurse chuckles and sighs. “Of course, them seeing you piss your pants on live television is more embarrassing to you than how scary it is to have a seizure. Very fitting, Mr. Parson.” 

“Call me Kent, please. What’s your name?” He speaks, trying to make simple conversation so that he can take his mind off of his ailments. 

Kent can hear the smile in her voice when she replies, “My name is Astrid.”

Kent and Astrid talk for quite some time, getting acquainted. Finding a new friend through all of this is some light in Kent’s dark tunnel. 

———-

After Kent is discharged from the hospital, Astrid keeps in touch, checking in on how he is doing, calling him once a day since he hasn’t figured out the whole ‘texting-while-blind’ thing just yet. 

The Aces, thankfully enough, were gracious enough to put out a statement for him… being that he can’t see, and providing him with, not a nurse, but someone to help guide him through being blind and adjusting to it.

Now that he can only see light and dark, Kent has to wear sunglasses more often than not, or else it bothers him. His ‘nurse’, Luke, is teaching him how to read Braille, and guiding him through the blind accessibility settings on his iPhone. If Luke wasn’t around, Kent would be glued to his couch and withering away slowly. 

The Aces are also keeping their contact with Kent, possibly hoping that once he adjusts fully to his blindness, that he can come back and work with the coaches and the higher ups. Kent hopes he can, he loves his team. But they also are genuinely concerned about his wellbeing. 

This time, however, they called with news. 

“Parse! Good to hear your voice, listen, I have some good news for you.” The voice of Aces owner, James Galloway, booms through his speakerphone. 

Kent chuckles at James’s happy tone and hums. “Give it to me, Jimmy.” 

“We were able to score you a guide dog from Seeing Eyes Vegas! It’s really hard to get on this list, and we had to do some… negotiating… to get you the dog. So, this dog will help take you places around Vegas, around your house, will help you walk without getting lost, et cetera et cetera.” James goes on about the dog he managed to bribe his way into getting for Kent, and Kent can’t stop smiling. He may be more of a cat person, but this dog can really help Kent’s case here. 

He laughs a little out of relief. “Jim, I bet it’s going to be the best. Thank you so much.” 

“Of course, kid. Luke obviously will have an understanding on how guide dogs work, and he will help you get adjusted to your dog. You’ll get to meet him on Wednesday!”

“Thanks again, Jim.” Kent hums through the phone, and hangs up when Jim gives the final goodbye. 

He calls Astrid to keep her updated, and manages to cook himself mac n’ cheese using the method Luke taught him, without burning down his apartment building.   
  


**=LATE FALL 2015 ~ ALEXEI=**

The Falconers are leaving practice, going home and preparing to take a plane to Vegas to play the Aces for the first of two times this season, and Alexei is nervous. 

The first time playing the Aces without Kenny, and although Kenny doesn’t know that he is Alexei’s soulmate, it’s hard to go without seeing him. It causes a pain in Alexei’s chest. 

What _also_ causes a pain in Alexei’s chest, is having to hide who his soulmate is from Zimmboni. They became much closer, although Alexei has a hard time separating the Jack that he saw through Kenny’s eyes from the Zimmboni he is teammates with. He has to tell Zimmboni soon, or else he will burst. He knows of Kenny’s history with Jack, but he isn’t going to abandon his soulmate because Jack doesn't like him. 

Getting onto the plane later in the day, Alexei organizes it so that he sits next to Zimmboni on the flight to Vegas. “Zimmboni, we need talk.”

“Yeah, Tater, shoot.” Jack hums, sitting in the aisle seat next to him. 

“My soulmate… I’m see his life through his eyes when I sleep.” He starts, averting his eyes from Jack’s gaze. “I’m find out that my soulmate is Kent Parson.” Tater holds his breath, waiting for Jack’s reply, and all he gets is a deep exhale. His heart is racing, and Jack’s actions aren’t helping. 

Jack looks at Tater, and places a hand on his arm. “Kenny and I both owe each other a lot of apologies, I’m assuming you know that. His injury... was scary. Hopefully we can talk it out someday, but I’m not going to corner him while we’re in Vegas, I don’t think he needs added pressure right now.” 

“I’m sorry that I was seeing… stuff that…” Alexei tries to get all his words in order, English is hard. “Stuff that… private to you. Cannot control what eyes do in sleep. I wish I’m close my eyes.” 

“Tater, I’m not mad, I promise. It was basically public knowledge anyways.” 

“I’m saw more, though.” Tater frowns, confused as to why Jack wasn’t angry.

Jack shakes his head and chuckles. “You couldn’t control it, bud. Soulpairings work in weird ways. It’s okay.” 

Alexei nods and turns away from Jack, prepared to nap the rest of the flight.

—————-

Although Alexei doesn’t want to ambush Kent, he asks Butter for his address. He has a day off after the game, they won by two, the Aces are slightly hurting without Kent. He isn’t planning on using it, but he genuinely considers it. 

He finds himself at a bakery that's only five minutes away from Kent’s apartment, itching for a coffee and a freshly baked donut, which the bakery is known for. 

After chowing down on his baked goods, he decides that it would be weird if he’s spotted near Kent’s apartment by any of his ex-teammates. He bolts out the door and quickly makes his way down the street, accidentally bumping into someone with a big German Shepherd. 

“ _Are you being okay? Sidewalk beat you up good_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback would be awesome! <3
> 
> Again, all rights to Ngozi Ukazu for the characters and the Check, Please! storyline. 
> 
> Also, sorry updates are gonna be so slow since I am back at school, I will probably end up banging this one out before I finish my Jamie centric one. Please bear with my sporadic updates!!


	3. i must, i must try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Talk :”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: slight anxiety, mentions of scrapes, talk about being blind (i am not a genius not do i know someone who is blind/nor am i blind, so i know it isnt a fully accurate description of blindness, but i hope i didnt offend anyone or portray blindness poorly! please let me know if i did)!!

**= LATE FALL 2015 ~ KENT =**

Kent feels the pavement beneath his hands, which are now one hundred percent scraped. 

Someone just said his words. His arm feels like it’s on fucking fire, and although he can’t see it, he can bet that it’s glowing, like his pediatrician said it would when his soulmark etched itself into his skin on his thirteenth birthday. He grips his forearm with a slight hiss, and pats around the ground for his sunglasses that fell off of his face when he took a tumble. 

Archer hasn’t stopped barking since right before the impact, presumably at the person who caused him to stumble. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m being clumsy. Just bump into… Kenny?” The voice of his soulmate kept speaking, and Kent lifts his head up, wincing at the use of a nickname that died back with a version of the boy he loved back in 2009. Kenny doesn’t exist anymore. 

He sits back onto his heels, brushing off his knees, taking a deep inhale. “Just Kent, please.” 

A soft hum came from his soulmate, who then seems to hesitate with his next movements, a telling sign coming from his feet shuffling on the pavement, and his stuttering breaths. “Okay, Just Kent, would you be liking a helping hand? I’m found glasses.” 

Kent nods, giving the man a small grin, reaching out his hand, only to be tugged up onto his feet and stabilized by his soulmate. His sunglasses are carefully placed onto his face, and Kent reaches his hand down to feel for Archer.

Archer moves under Kent’s hand, so that Kent knows the dog is there. He feels the dog lick his hand, smiles, and reaches back for the harness. This is something they worked for hours on during the training period, something they worked on during the time spent bonding, to see if they were compatible. Archer was chosen specifically for Kent, and was actually the third dog he met. Their training period was rushed, compressed to only a few weeks of daily four to five hour sessions. It was exhausting, but worth every second. 

Kent grips at the handle on the harness until he is white-knuckled, and searches for his soulmate, trying to remember the direction his voice came from. 

“Over here, _solnyshko_.” The voice speaks sweetly, and Kent turns to his direction, reaching out and wrapping his free hand around his soulmate’s arm to make sure. “I’m not introduce myself. Bad manners. Is Alexei, Mashkov.” 

Kent’s heart begins to pound out of his chest. He’s always had a crush on Mashkov, his size and accent really throws Kent for a loop, okay? And Kent hasn’t been blind forever, he knows what Mashkov looks like. He may be blind currently, but he isn’t fucking dead, dude’s hot. But Kent thought Mashkov didn’t like him. He would ignore Kent at the all star games they both attended, and when the Aces played the Falconers, Alexei would always hit him into the boards and throw his whole game plan off, as if he was in his head. Which, to think of it, makes a lot of sense. 

“ _You’re_ my soulmate?” Kent gasps, his voice catching in his throat. 

“Is… is bad thing?” Alexei whimpers, and Kent can feel him physically recoil from underneath his grasp. 

“No! No, not at all. I’m just surprised. I thought you hated me.” 

“How could I hate you, _solnyshko_?” 

Kent feels like he could melt into the concrete. “Why don’t we take a walk back to my apartment? Archer knows the way home from here, we come here often enough.” 

“You not want coffee?” Alexei hums, not moving Kent’s hand from his bicep. 

Kent shakes his head and tips it up in the direction of Alexei. “Nah. I can make it back at home. Archer, home.” He taps on the harness a little, and Archer sneezes in acknowledgement, leading Kent and Alexei to turn around in the opposite direction, and up to the crosswalk, stopping them in their tracks when he sees that it isn’t safe to cross. When Archer deems it safe enough, he leads them across. 

“He smart dog. The crosswalk said go.” 

“His job is to sense when it is safe for me to walk. He isn’t a GPS, but he knows some places, like the p-a-r-k, or the café, or home. He stops walking when there are obstacles, or when I can’t cross. He is a smarty pants, isn’t he?” Kent smiles, following Archer’s directions as they walk. “I trust him with my life.” 

“Good. If you trust Archer, I’m trust too.” 

A grin spreads across Kent’s face, and doesn't leave when they reach his apartment building. Alexei holds the door open for Kent, and Kent hears the security guard, Lars, greet him as he follows Archer to the elevator, his grip tight on Alexei’s arm as well. Kent says hello to Lars in return, and stops when Archer stops at the elevator doors. 

“Hey, Mashkov? Can you press up?” Kent asks, squeezing his soulmate’s arm. Kent definitely will not get over the fact that his _soulmate_ is Alexei Mashkov. 

Alexei hums in response, and Kent can hear the click of the button. When the elevator arrives, both Alexei and Archer lead him to the one that opened. 

“And I’m on the ninth floor, if you could press that too.” Kent hums, tapping his foot along to the song playing inside the elevator, listening to Alexei press the button and the elevator closing. 

Kent digs into his pocket when the elevator moves, reaching for his key. When the doors open, Archer leads the two men out of the elevator and down the hall to Kent’s front door. Kent reaches ahead of himself and finds the doorknob, then the lock. He unlocks his door with practiced grace, and lets Archer’s harness go, undoing the clasps, and putting it back where he memorized it to be. 

“Quick warning, Alexei, _please,_ if you can help it, don’t move anything without telling me. I have everything set up so I know where I am, and so I know where everything is.” Kent pleads, hearing the small tinks of the bell on Kit’s collar as she pads towards Kent, mewling happily. 

Alexei was clearly grinning, if the happiness in his voice had anything to say. “I’m promise, not move anything.” He then catches a glimpse of Kit, and gasps. “So this is famous Instagram cat! The Kit Purrson, little lady even more beautiful in person. Her owner is cutest though. Best.” 

Kent feels heat spread across his cheeks, and ducks his head bashfully. “Please, Kit’s got me in the looks department. I can’t do my hair properly anymore. I had to have Scraps arrange my closet by color and pattern and somehow label the hangers with braille so I know what they are, dude.” 

“You still best.” Alexei affirms, removing Kent’s hand from his arm, and holding it in his own. 

“Maybe we should actually talk.” Kent hums, nodding as he leads Alexei over to his couch by muscle memory, slowly sitting down. 

Following his lead, Alexei sits down beside Kent, and Kent can tell there is a little bit of anxiety in his movements. Kent isn’t so calm himself, so he gets it. “So you’re my soulmate… I honestly never thought I’d find you. I, um… I didn’t think I deserved you.”

Kent feels Alexei practically melt, his weight shifting and the couch dipping a little more. “I’m know this. My side of soulpairing… I could see through your eyes when I’m being asleep. Mostly when I was in Russia.” Alexei speaks gently, and slowly, so that he can articulate every word properly. “I saw things… I’m not thinking I should have, but I couldn’t control. I felt… guilty? Is word, right? I felt guilty, seeing things, knowing who soulmate is, without you knowing too.” 

Alexei takes a breath and Kent hears his hands touch down onto his thighs. “I didn’t find you sooner… didn’t want to overwhelm during tough times. Sometimes… you scared me. Didn’t want soulmate to hurt himself, without being able to help.” Another deep inhale comes from Alexei, before continuing on, speaking the most words Kent has ever heard him speak in one sitting. 

“I’m text Sasha after draft, you Aces call him Butter, and tell him to keep you safe. He tell me he was housing you. He didn’t ask why I’m text him about you. But he kept soulmate safe.” Alexei runs his fingers through Kent’s hair so gently, it’s barely there. Kent sighs and when Alexei moves his hand down to cup Kent’s cheek, he sighs and relaxes into it. 

Kent sniffles, emotion building up in him when he hears what Alexei’s been saying. He hates the fact that Alexei had to watch and experience some of the worst moments of Kent’s life, and never really experienced the good moments, because when Alexei would fall asleep in Providence, Kent would only be three hours behind him when on the west coast, and would end up falling asleep somewhere within that three hour differential. 

Alexei tells him more about what he has seen through Kent’s eyes, how he figured out who Kent was, and his unconditional love for Kent. 

“I just… how could you _still_ like me, be interested in me, after everything you’ve seen me do? The Samwell incident… that’s almost unforgivable. I was _projecting_ and I hurt Zimms _again_ in the process. And I wanted it to hurt, y’know? I wanted him to hurt like how he hurt me, and I know it’s not justifiable.” Kent sighs and turns his body to face Alexei’s a little better. He rests his forehead on the taller man’s shoulder, and lets a tear drip onto his shirt. 

“How can you see past that?” 

“You easy to fall for, Kent Parson.” Alexei hums, running his fingers through Kent’s golden hair. “Much easier than you think, solnyshko. I’m see a lot through your eyes. I’m see pain, I’m see happiness, I’m see anger, struggle, sadness, excitement, anxiety. I’m hear your laugh, how contagious it is. I saw more than just the bad. You are a good person, Kent. You just ignoring that side of you.” 

Kent chokes on a small sob that Alexei’s words force out of him. 

“You are alive, you are strong. You are kind, you donate to charity… so selfless, you good captain, best. You care for rookies, teammates. You volunteer, you rescue cat, give better life. So easy to love, Kenny.” Alexei finishes, and Kent softens at the name that usually makes him jumpy. He rejected it at first, but he loves the way Alexei says it. 

“You’re not so bad, either.” Kent whispers back jokingly, forcing a bellowing cackle out of Alexei, something similar to a goose honk laugh, but not quite. Kent wants to hear that sound all the time. “You… you have such a warm and big personality. I’ve heard so many things about you, and watched so many videos with you in it, and I even binged the Falconer Faceoffs, because I admit I had, and still have, a huge crush on you. Everything I watched, every person I talked to, always proved me right. You seemed like the best person to know, to have in my life, and I was jealous of people who knew you personally. Just speaking with you now continues to prove me right.” 

Kent sighs happily and lifts his head off of Alexei’s shoulder. His eyes are wet, his cheeks are tear-stained. “You’re amazing. I’m so lucky to have you as my soulmate. I’m sorry you had to see through my eyes.” 

Alexei cups his cheek again, and huffs. “That not your fault, Kenny. Can’t control soulpairing. It was meant to be that way. Wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m being lucky to have you too.”

“I… how are we gonna make this work? The Aces want me to work for them when I am fully… settled into being blind, I guess. There are a surprising amount of options, honestly. But… the distance, ‘Lexei. How?” 

“We make it work. I’m willing to work hundred times harder to be with soulmate. You worth it.” 

Kent leans into Alexei’s touch some more, and nods. “Yeah… we’ll make it work. You’re so worth it, Lex. You have no idea.” 

“Can I kiss you?” Alexei asks sweetly, after slowly inching closer. 

He is almost mere centimeters from Kent’s face, to the point where Kent can feel the air he breathes, when Kent nods and whispers, “please.” 

When their lips touch for the first time, it feels like coming home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY i finished a fic lolol!! If y’all want more of this verse, please let me know! Feeback feeds the writer, so please let me what you thought of this story, albeit a little short, and if you want more of this verse! 
> 
> Also this isn’t beta read, so if you find mistakes PLEASE point em out 
> 
> I do have some ideas for more, but won’t really act on it unless it’s wanted. Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> take the CW with extreme caution, some topics are extremely sensitive to most, so please only read if you can handle it. im not the best writer but i know this can definitely hit a nerve. 
> 
> Comments and feedback helps a million to keep me motivated to get better and continue to write! Let me know what you think!


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